A friend recently told me about this website that had all
sorts of information on drugs, including personal stories about doing drugs or
how they had seen others react to drugs. If you haven’t been here already, I
highly suggest you check out erowid.org if you have
the chance. I’ve been reading different stories all day.
Start rant: I have never, nor will I ever, promote drug use
or abuse. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up mainly because of alcohol and drugs.
I’ve seen them ruin far too many lives. I only mention this because the website
I said to check out has a large number of personal stories involving drug use
in a positive way. Many stories even end with people suggesting doing the drug
or saying that they would do it again. I know I have already stated that I do
on occasion smoke marijuana, and I don’t want to sound like a hypocrite about
drug use, so I will explain my reasoning as to why I think that it is okay for
me to occasionally smoke marijuana but I do not think it is okay to do other
drugs that are illegal.
I have a method to my madness, I promise. I have anxiety and
depression. I hated the prescription drugs that my doctor gave me for it. They
made me a zombie, rather than just calm me down. So my friend suggested
marijuana and I smoked a little of it, and wow… I felt normal. Because my level
of anxiety is so high the marijuana doesn’t do much other than take away that
intense feeling of fear of everything. I was simply me but without the
nervousness. And maybe a little bit hungrier (haha). I do not feel like I need
to smoke marijuana. I do not do it excessively. I do not waste my money away on
it. It does not change who I am as a person and it doesn’t make me do anything
I wouldn’t do sober. I’m always safe about it, and I never push it on others to
try it. It does not affect anyone around me. My roommate can’t tell the
difference between me when I’m “high” and when I’m “sober.” And she lives with
me so I think she knows me pretty well. There are other drugs out there that
change you. They make you do things you would have never done if you weren’t on
drugs. Everyone is different so the effect of drugs will be slightly different
for everyone. But so far, from what I’ve witnessed first hand and what I have
read about cocaine, I don’t think that anyone should ever try it. My father did
cocaine and man was that terrifying to live with. And from the stories I’ve
read it seems like most people act the same way my father did. Basically what
it comes down to is one big reason: other drugs change who you are. They change
the way you live your life, they change the people you associate yourself with,
it changes your whole life. You lose people. You become a monster in some
cases. They’re dangerous and addictive, as well as deadly. Trying marijuana
once won’t get you hooked, but that isn’t how it is with other drugs. Other
drugs are so addictive that once you do it once, your body has a slight need to
do it again. And end rant.
Your link is broken. It's really https://erowid.org . But I can't tell where on the site the stories are.
ReplyDeleteYou're self medicating.
ReplyDeleteWhile this may or may not be working out for you now, you are at serious risk as you continue to age and your body chemistry changes. Especially since you are genetically pre-disposed towards addiction and substance abuse issues. One of the biggest problem people with mental health issues face is that once they feel better, they stop taking their meds. With bad consequences for them and those around them.
"My roommate can’t tell the difference between me when I’m “high” and when I’m “sober.” And she lives with me so I think she knows me pretty well."
Um... Several things to consider here. Is your roommate trained in how to evaluate people's mental state? Do they they take their responsibility to evaluate you seriously? If they said you had a problem, would you listen? Do they have their own biases which might impact their ability to give you an objective opinion?
While it is brave of you to come out and witness your own personal journey, my recommendation is that you find a psychiatrist who is "weed-friendly". Tell them which medications turned you into a zombie. (For me, it was Zoloft. I knew after 24hrs that Zoloft and I would never be friends.) Spend a few weeks working out various medication regimes until you find one that works. When it stops working after a few months or years, go back and try some more.
I was seeing a psychiatrist who is "weed-friendly." Sadly she moved to New York so I am no longer seeing her. I've talked to her about all of this, she is aware of the medications that made me a zombie. She was the one who recommended I tried smoking marijuana. I told her after about my experiences and she has said that the way I do it is safe and clearly works better for me than other prescription drugs. I would get medical marijuana, but my parents would never go for that. Otherwise everything I am doing now would be exactly the same except not considered "self medicating." I'm very aware of myself and the genes that could be passed to me. I'm self-aware to a fault sometimes. Because of this, I don't drink. I don't do any drug other than marijuana, which is only on occasion. But that is half the reason why I do not like prescription drugs for depression and anxiety. I was much more nervous to become dependent on them. I am very aware that you can't just stop taking your meds if you're on them. As I have said I've been through the process. I've tried a few different ones and so far none have worked. So why not stick to what works, to what is actually cheaper for me, and to what I don't have to rely on all the time or take every single day? Doctors have told me that I'm handling this in a safe way.
DeleteI would absolutely listen to my roommate, or anyone else, if they had an honest concern for my health and safety. I have been friends with my roommate for over a year now, and she does not care whether anyone smokes weed or not. She cares about me, so yes she would take notice and say something if she thought something was wrong.
I'm from a town where in the past month 9 people (in their 20s, many whom I knew) died from drug overdoses. Including drugs like heroine and coke. I agree with you that marijuana is something that I feel is in a whole other ballpark than these addictive drugs like heroine. I personally also smoke marijuana on occasion as well as majority of my friends but I don't and will never consider any of us addicted to it, or that it makes us bad people. I am however, completely against doing those drugs that are considered horrible, scary and addictive.
ReplyDeleteI agree with most of your post, but in your defense of marijuana you say that you don't consider those who use marijuana bad people, implying that those who do other drugs are bad people. While I am okay with marijuana use and think that other drugs are far more harmful both to the individuals and those who encounter them under the influence of the substances, I would not consider anyone a bad person for substance abuse in itself. People have their reasons to develop addictions, and while I never think that developing a substance addiction is a good idea because it is often life-destroying, I would call those who develop the addictions to these substances misguided rather than bad. Apologies if I have completely misinterpreted your post, just wanted to clarify that I do not think that those who develop drug addictions are bad, only in need of help!
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