The Best and the Worst drug there is

When I was a senior in high school I would buy prescriptions from classmates, for all the wrong reasons. I was heavier than I wanted to be, and I watched people shed weight in no time taking it since it curbs your appetite. Lose weight that fast without going to the gym or craving a cheeseburger? Sign me up. I lost about 20 pounds, and I was more productive than I had ever been in my life. I thought I had found God's greatest creation. So I got my own prescription and justified it by saying I always knew I had ADD. (Which is the truth, my mom just thinks I'm lazy.)

I didn't do very well in high school. My senior year I managed to bump my final GPA up to a solid 2.8. In contrast, there hasn't been a semester in college where I haven't made Dean's List. I can focus in the library for hours. I can crank out a 10 page paper in one night without even thinking about taking a break. Then I'll organize my collection of 40 lipsticks by shade for fun. I'll write outlines about the outlines I need to make for each class. 

A lot of people don't even know I have a prescription because they'll ask me to sell a few to them. I don't want to seem like a crack addict when I tell them no, I need them all. And then some. I started at 20mg per day, and fast forward five years I'm taking 60mg a day.  It gets me through the days I wake up for class at 6:30, sit through my classes until 4:20, go straight to work until 10 or 11, then do my homework until two in the morning. 60mg a day is a high dose, especially for a girl who's 5'3'' and 107 lbs. My doctor won't even give me a higher dosage, even though my tolerance is getting pretty high. 

When it starts to wear off, most people don't like to be around me, and I really don't blame them. I don't want to be around you either. I'm super irritable and anti-social. If I don't take it I'm groggy and lazy. But I'm according to my mom I'm a lazy person to begin with so I guess I really can't shift the blame. ​If you search the Internet for blogs about it, and your results will flood with people's stories about overcoming their addiction after it sucked the life out of them. I wouldn't say I'm addicted. But then again I wouldn't be writing this blog if I didn't take it today. I'd probably be in bed. 

Addict is a strong word. I'd just say I have a strong love-hate relationship with the best and the worst drug out there. Adderall.

[Bad]vice

If I had a nickel every time I heard an adult tell their kids "I don't mind if you want to have a few drinks but don't EVER let me catch you smoking pot", I would be looking forward to early retirement.

 A few days ago, I went to pick up my best friend from her grandfather's house. She recently moved in with him and as we were about to leave the house he gave us the "you will not be allowed to live under this roof if I catch you smoking weed" lecture.

I couldn't bite my tongue; so I gave it to him straight. "Gramps, I don't think that's such a great rule. If anything, I think it should be reversed". Like any parent, he is not a fan of having his rules put into question. "I'm not going to let you girls go hang with a bunch of druggies who get high all day, what's the matter with you?" I chuckled. "Gramps, I'm an avid pot smoker. I have been for quite some time now. Are you calling me a druggie?" He was SHOCKED.

My best friend has always been a wild child so her parents were grateful that I was her best friend; always referring to me as a 'good influence'. Now when I say my best friend is a wild child, I mean her face should appear next to the word 'trouble' in the dictionary. She is stunning, acts entirely on impulses and is manic bipolar. I call her my 'sour patch kid'. There was no need for me to tell her grandfather about her fiery, unpredictable personality (where do you think she got it from?)

 "As her best friend I know sides of her personality that you may never know. I know what she is like after a few drinks and I know what she is like after a few hits. I'm not about to go into detail but if you saw those sides of her, you would NOT be advising her to drink".


A drunk night with my best friend consists of me chasing after her, holding her hair back while she vomits Kettle One vodka, pulling her away from some slimy guy trying to get her alone, and-- my personal favorite-- fighting for the car keys. The next morning, my friend will have slim to no recollection of the events that took place the night before because she was blacked out.


As an insider to college party life, trust me when I say, there are over 100 girls each night exhibiting the same behavior, if not worse.


A night of smoking weed with my best friend is an entirely different experience. The night begins with just her and I hanging out until an intimate few come join us, usually about ten of our good friends and my roommates. After rolling up a few joints, we get high together, have random conversation, a room full of laughs, and-- my personal favorite-- cook a mess of food to satisfy our munchies.


I've seen alcohol make classy women act like complete idiots.
I've seen weed make classy women act silly and sleepy.


So the next time your little girl or boy goes to a party, would you still advise them to adhere only to drinking?

The Holidays Don't Make Mental Illnesses Disappear

Seeing as it is the holiday season, I thought it would be an appropriate time to talk about people who have depression and how Christmas doesn’t magically make their depression go away. For a good portion of people, this time of year brings about nothing but happiness. There is always the stress of buying presents and planning parties, but at the end of the day it is just a happy time of year for families. But it’s not that simple for people suffering from depression. There could be all the happiness of the holidays surrounding someone with depression, and they still are unable to feel joy. It isn’t as easy as just realizing what good things are around you. Most people with depression realize that things aren’t really as bad as they seem, but they still can’t help but feel as depressed as they do. It is a mental illness. It is a chemical imbalance in your brain. It isn’t a choice to have depression. So even though this time of year is really festive and full of joy, not everyone is able to feel that way.

While it may be hard to understand how someone could feel so alone or upset during this season, or even just in general, if you don’t have depression, it is important to be as understanding of others as you possibly can. You might not be aware of how the holidays actually are for some people, not everyone has a fun experience of Christmas with their family. I know that whenever I say I’m not the biggest fan of Christmas people are always judging and don’t understand why. But that’s exactly it; you just don’t know what certain people have been through in their lives. This holiday season I encourage you to try your best to make everyone feel special, even if you just tell someone to have a good holiday. You never know what someone has been through, and you never know what someone might be suffering from. Pay attention to the people who are surrounding you every day, whether it be in class, at work, at home, or just walking down the street. Smile as you walk by, say hello or at least say something friendly. To someone with depression, the little things like that really stand out and make a difference.

Alcohol vs Weed

                Alcohol and marijuana are both commonly used recreationally these days.  I always here problems coming from drinking alcohol and that that many about marijuana use.  The big difference is that alcohol is legal and marijuana is not.  Why is it that alcohol is legal and weed isn’t when so many more problems arise from alcohol?   I will admit I drink and smoke weed often and I’m in no way saying that I think alcohol should be illegal.  I’m simply saying that if alcohol is legal, there should be no reason why weed isn’t.

                When it comes to alcohol, like anything, it all depends on the person and how responsible they are with it so I’m not speaking for everyone here.  That being said, alcohol is responsible for most of the car accidents that occur and result in death often.  The drunk driver, people in his car, and people in the other car are all at a much higher risk of death when someone is driving drunk.  Also, alcohol, while making people happy sometimes (ex. “I love you bro!”), is proven to cause a high raise in anger and irritability.  This is of course based on the person and what they’ve been going through but it can lead to domestic abuse situations or other violent tendencies like fighting.  Finally, alcohol can make people completely lose control.  We’ve all heard that one story from our friend who “totally blacked out last night”.  This, obviously, can become very dangerous because if you’re not in control and blacked out, you can get lost, hurt, robbed, or raped.

 When smoking weed, car accidents rarely occur because you either don’t want to move, you’re focused on driving hard, or still in control enough to know you’re ok.  Along with that, the only emotions you feel are: happy, tired, and hungry.  I have never in my life seen someone who was both high and mad.  Lastly, weed doesn’t make you lose control like alcohol does.  You are always in control and aware.  So again, if alcohol is legal, why shouldn’t marijuana be?   

Is Adderall Addictve?

A lot of people say that the drug Adderall is helpful when you’re trying to get things done and need the added alertness and focus.  It is popularly used by college students who have a lot of work to do or need to cram for a test and stay up all night.  My question is can this seemingly helpful drug be hurtful as well? Can it be dangerous? I guess it truly depends on the user.

                To try and come up with an answer, we must first clarify what Adderall is.  Adderall is a pharmaceutical drug used to treat ADHD and narcolepsy due to its focusing and energizing effects.  Basically, kids who don’t have ADHD or narcolepsy are taking it to get the energy boost in order to get school assignments done and stay up all night to do it.  The problem with that is that it can become very addictive.  People get a rush of energy from it and accomplish a lot so they get that satisfaction from it.  However, once they come down from it, depending on the person of course, feel as if they can’t accomplish anything so they feel the need to take it more and in higher doses.

                I know this because I watched my older cousin Pat go through it. I have always looked up to him since I was little.  He was a multisport star in high school, got a scholarship to college, always got good grades, and started his own company at 28 so he was the last person I would expect this from.  He went back to get a masters at BC when he was about 29 and ended up leaving because he spent too much money on Adderall.  He ended up selling everything he had from furniture to his clothes in order to get more.  All this over just Adderall, but is it really just Adderall?

                I know a lot of people use Adderall but everyone should be careful about what they put into their bodies.  Adderall seems like just a small thing and is probably seen as a good thing to even people who aren’t prescribed to it, but because of the effects of it, it can be very addictive.     

Rant About Drugs

A friend recently told me about this website that had all sorts of information on drugs, including personal stories about doing drugs or how they had seen others react to drugs. If you haven’t been here already, I highly suggest you check out erowid.org if you have the chance. I’ve been reading different stories all day.

Start rant: I have never, nor will I ever, promote drug use or abuse. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up mainly because of alcohol and drugs. I’ve seen them ruin far too many lives. I only mention this because the website I said to check out has a large number of personal stories involving drug use in a positive way. Many stories even end with people suggesting doing the drug or saying that they would do it again. I know I have already stated that I do on occasion smoke marijuana, and I don’t want to sound like a hypocrite about drug use, so I will explain my reasoning as to why I think that it is okay for me to occasionally smoke marijuana but I do not think it is okay to do other drugs that are illegal.

I have a method to my madness, I promise. I have anxiety and depression. I hated the prescription drugs that my doctor gave me for it. They made me a zombie, rather than just calm me down. So my friend suggested marijuana and I smoked a little of it, and wow… I felt normal. Because my level of anxiety is so high the marijuana doesn’t do much other than take away that intense feeling of fear of everything. I was simply me but without the nervousness. And maybe a little bit hungrier (haha). I do not feel like I need to smoke marijuana. I do not do it excessively. I do not waste my money away on it. It does not change who I am as a person and it doesn’t make me do anything I wouldn’t do sober. I’m always safe about it, and I never push it on others to try it. It does not affect anyone around me. My roommate can’t tell the difference between me when I’m “high” and when I’m “sober.” And she lives with me so I think she knows me pretty well. There are other drugs out there that change you. They make you do things you would have never done if you weren’t on drugs. Everyone is different so the effect of drugs will be slightly different for everyone. But so far, from what I’ve witnessed first hand and what I have read about cocaine, I don’t think that anyone should ever try it. My father did cocaine and man was that terrifying to live with. And from the stories I’ve read it seems like most people act the same way my father did. Basically what it comes down to is one big reason: other drugs change who you are. They change the way you live your life, they change the people you associate yourself with, it changes your whole life. You lose people. You become a monster in some cases. They’re dangerous and addictive, as well as deadly. Trying marijuana once won’t get you hooked, but that isn’t how it is with other drugs. Other drugs are so addictive that once you do it once, your body has a slight need to do it again. And end rant.

Alcoholics Anonymous

My father is an alcoholic; he’s been sober for over twenty-five years, but despite this he is still an alcoholic. Thankfully, he is a recovering one and I pray he stays that way. Despite the fact that he has been sober for so many years, he still goes to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings twice, sometimes three, four times a week. Because after all this time, he still struggles with his addiction.

Thursday nights he goes to the local meeting in our hometown. He gets there twenty minutes early to make the coffee and brings a package of Oreos for everyone to share.  My dad helps out on Thursday nights by doing this, but mostly Thursday nights are for him and the support he gives and receives from other people in the group. My dad also goes to meetings he calls “Commitments” in other towns in Massachusetts to share his recovery story. I can’t even begin to explain how good these meeting are for my father. Contributing to these meetings gives him a sense of purpose first of all, but they also have created an amazing support system for him. By attending these weekly meetings he was not only set up with a sponsor, but also was able to become part of a community that understood him and related with him. And now, my father also sponsors other people in the community to help them as well. These meetings give my father hope, strength, confidence and a second family. I believe the reason my father has stayed sober all these years is because of these AA meetings.

            Some people see AA as a cult, or as an authoritarian structure that is obsessed with following the Twelve Step Program and with religion, but I see it as a comfortable environment where members of a community can come together and help each other through tough times. I have attending open meetings with my father, to see what they were like, and I never once felt like I was being pressured into becoming part of a “cult”. While the twelve steps were an important part of the meetings I attended, they were more like guidelines than authoritarian rule and were modified by each individual based on their personal beliefs. I found these meetings to be very inspirational and I felt welcomed and comfortable at each one that I attended and left feeling confident that I was not alone. 

            While Alcoholics Anonymous meetings may not be right for everyone, because of the way I have seen them help and support my father and his friends, I believe that they are a great way to help those that are struggling with alcohol and drug abuse and they don’t deserve all of the hate that they are given by folks who have never given them a try.