When I was a senior in high school I would buy prescriptions from classmates, for all the wrong reasons. I was heavier than I wanted to be, and I watched people shed weight in no time taking it since it curbs your appetite. Lose weight that fast without going to the gym or craving a cheeseburger? Sign me up. I lost about 20 pounds, and I was more productive than I had ever been in my life. I thought I had found God's greatest creation. So I got my own prescription and justified it by saying I always knew I had ADD. (Which is the truth, my mom just thinks I'm lazy.)
I didn't do very well in high school. My senior year I managed to bump my final GPA up to a solid 2.8. In contrast, there hasn't been a semester in college where I haven't made Dean's List. I can focus in the library for hours. I can crank out a 10 page paper in one night without even thinking about taking a break. Then I'll organize my collection of 40 lipsticks by shade for fun. I'll write outlines about the outlines I need to make for each class.
A lot of people don't even know I have a prescription because they'll ask me to sell a few to them. I don't want to seem like a crack addict when I tell them no, I need them all. And then some. I started at 20mg per day, and fast forward five years I'm taking 60mg a day. It gets me through the days I wake up for class at 6:30, sit through my classes until 4:20, go straight to work until 10 or 11, then do my homework until two in the morning. 60mg a day is a high dose, especially for a girl who's 5'3'' and 107 lbs. My doctor won't even give me a higher dosage, even though my tolerance is getting pretty high.
When it starts to wear off, most people don't like to be around me, and I really don't blame them. I don't want to be around you either. I'm super irritable and anti-social. If I don't take it I'm groggy and lazy. But I'm according to my mom I'm a lazy person to begin with so I guess I really can't shift the blame. If you search the Internet for blogs about it, and your results will flood with people's stories about overcoming their addiction after it sucked the life out of them. I wouldn't say I'm addicted. But then again I wouldn't be writing this blog if I didn't take it today. I'd probably be in bed.
Addict is a strong word. I'd just say I have a strong love-hate relationship with the best and the worst drug out there. Adderall.
From the sixth Saturday Night Live episode, way back in 1975:
ReplyDeleteAnnouncer: Meet Ellen Sherman, Cleveland housewife and mother.
Housewife: Hi! I’m a nuclear physicist and commissioner of consumer affairs. In my spare time I do needlepoint, read, sculpt, take riding lessons and brush up on my knowledge of current events. Thursday is my day at the day care center and then there’s my work with the deaf but I still have time left over to do all my own baking and practice my backhand even though I’m on call 24 hours a day as a legal aide (fades out)
Announcer: How does Ellen Sherman do it all? She’s smart. She takes Speed! The tiny blue diet pill you don’t have to be overweight to need.
Housewife: And then I collect these paper bags and I have them right here, all folded and everything, in case anyone needs a paper bag I have one (fades out)
Announcer: Yes, Speed.
Housewife: (fades in) ‘cause I fold them neatly you know, I don’t fold them just any old way (fades out)
Announcer: Why not ask your family doctor for a prescription today? And when that runs out, you can ask your neighbor’s doctor. And your mother’s doctor. And your college roommate’s doctor. And your best friend from high school’s doctor. And your babysitter’s doctor . . . (fades out)